Babel, Self-Inflicted

There was a time when words weren't enough. Men and women's thoughts and ideas were limited by a handful of useless words. This restricted authors and playwriters. Among these unsatisfied Creators was a man. A man with a half-naked head known today as the greatest writer in The English Language.

Now, don't be decieved by him. You praise him now for his worthy poems, plays, and sonnets but that's not the real reason why he became so well-knowned. His intimidating last name, which we all struggled with in middle school, would only be a difficult word to spell if he had not been such an arrogant rebel. The English Language

had nothing more than simple words to offer him, so instead of succumbing to this mediocre set of words, he started creating his own. This man thought he was special enough to create a new version of The English Language,

and apparently, he was. He invented words like "amazement", "bloody", "critical" and "obscene" and people actually started using them. This event marked the beginning of the destruction of language as a form of communication. Other authors started feeling special too, so words like "dinner-party" and "nerd" became part of the English dictionary. Then, people who weren't writers, but still were pretty influential in other people's lives, took it to another level and started creating phrases like "Google it," "tag me in a photo," and "bbm me real quick". This wasn't a problem until random people started feeling plaetible enough to create their words too, words others felt they had no reason to adopt. So this is how language

started

stretching

like

a

rubber

band.

People would debate whether a sandwich was antripomorphic or dublainic. Couples would fight about what language their children would learn. Kids would grow up with a weird mix of idioms they'd soon discard and replace with their own. People refused to communicate, nations fell apart, civilizations became caddlements of recawing stahiments. Whantimate laopar esh tricane of mantamere and staegells dedophin to drestued oklitno was gatn.

This is how the rubber band broke.